So I put a poll Instagram to help me choose which book to read this month, and low and behold my followers selected ‘Why Men Love Bitches’ by Sherry Argov.
To be completely honest with you, I usually steer away from books that have anything to do with relationships, but having been single for a few years now I thought maybe it’s time I learn about my own flaws.
To be quite frank, I do not think that this book is to be taken too seriously. I did learn a lot, and I cringed at some of the things the writer included of what not to do… i.e. lend money to a guy after a couple of dates. I cringed because well, I have done exactly that. Are we still together? No. Did he give me my money back? No.
The whole vibe of the book is basically this- as a woman, don’t be too much of an eager beaver and set standards from the start of the relationship. It’s not hard right? I think many of us have fallen into this trap whereby we allow a loved one to get away with certain things in the beginning of a relationship which we don’t like and wouldn’t want our significant other to behave like. We allow it because, well, we don’t want to be tagged as being a complete psycho when you’ve just met the person and I guess, if your’e still in the dating stage technically you can’t say anything right?
If iv’e learnt anything from this book it is this: what you allow will continue. To be honest, I didn’t need to read this book to understand this. Iv’e gaged this from real life experiences and it’s just reaffirmed it if i’m honest. It’s about levelling up and setting your standards from the very beginning. Therefore, when your standards are set so high you aren’t going to tolerate any kind of bullshit and it has nothing to do with being a so called ‘bitch’, but everything to do with not being a complete and utter door matt.
I guess theres nothing wrong with being the ‘nice girl’, if thats what you are, but you need to be able to identify when your niceness is taken for granted. You need to notice whether or not your niceness is being used against you, and it’s difficult to notice if you go in to every relationship with rose tinted glasses on. Has this book been a dating game changer for me? Yes, I suppose so.
A friend of mine told me about a girl she knows and all she does is read self-help books about relationships and attracting the right man and well, at 40 years old, she is still single and trying out these ‘games’ in hope to attract the ‘perfect one’. This wont be and is not me. As I said in the beginning of this blog, this book isn’t to be taken to the T. There are parts you can decipher and implement into your own life if you wish to and parts you can put to one side. I’ll give you a quick example.
Theres a part in this book where Sherry talks about staying busy during the early stages; not saying yes to early to a second date and make the man wait a while. I do agree, but I also think that if you want to see someone again then you should, and I guess the more you see that person the more you get to quickly understand if this is a life partner, a bit of fun or someone you wish to never encounter again.
Overall it’s a fun light read that may give you an insight into what you might potentially be doing wrong during the dating stage. I for one will never lend money to someone i’m dating again, i’m not his mother and to be quite frank if he’s struggling that hard with his finances maybe he needs to sort his own shit out before he starts looking for a relationship.